Waiting

I was never good at this.

Patience is supposed to be a virtue, but it's one I'm so clearly lacking in. My interview was quite a while ago, almost two weeks now. I was hoping to hear by Christmas, or at least New Years, whether I'd be joining the next recruit class or whether I'd have to try again in a few months.

It's not like anybody's life hangs in the balance, or even that I'm particularly anxious about the response. Yes, I sincerely hope I'm accepted, but will it wreck my life if I miss out? No way, I can always try again. What really gets to me is the little wave of excitement I get every time my cellphone vibrates, so quickly followed by disappointment as I see that it's a friend or family member. Even worse is when the phone rings showing a number I don't recognize, and I answer excitedly only to find out that I'm talking to the public library, or a friend calling from an unfamiliar land line. I'm always checking to make sure my phone's not out of batteries, and that I haven't gone somewhere where I can't get a signal.

Check...work...check again...eat....etc.

I guess it's an opportunity, really. That's always the better way to think about it. My patience is as important as my strength or resolve, and this is just a chance to work on it. So I'm dealing, for now. I'll keep writing, keep working, but all the time I'll keep listening as well. Listening for the call that will decide my short-term future.

Can't write anymore, need to check my phone....